Did you ever have a feeling that a car repair was going to be a hefty amount and then it actually came true?
I told someone recently that a repair would probably cost $1,400, even though I knew the parts could be ordered on Amazon for $60. I know this because I ordered those parts in the past and had a friend put them in for me. But they broke again because they are made of plastic, and they were hard to put in, so I didn’t want to go through that again.
Well, you guessed it, the quote was $1,420. But it was winter and I needed my heater to work like a week ago, so I gave them the go-ahead, but I knew I would be breaking up with them after that because it felt like they were overcharging me by like $1,000.
That same week, I took my car to a tire shop to ask them to honor the 65,000-mile warranty.
“Did you rotate your tires every oil change?”
“I did once.”
“The warranty on the back says you have to do it every time.”
That breakup cost me another $200.
All of life feels like dating. What we want is a mechanic we can trust, a bookstore that doesn’t close at 7:00 p.m., an employer who values our contribution, friends we don’t have to be on guard with, a barista who isn’t more interested in TikTok than our order and a gas station attendant who doesn’t roll her eyes when you ask why the card reader isn’t working … again. I could go on and on. But you get the idea.
In reality, we have to date around to find these things. And I’ll be honest, my dating game isn’t all that strong. I’m more than willing to accept idiosyncrasies and quirks (I certainly have both), but I need some sense of compatibility.
By that, I mean this definition: “a feeling of sympathy and friendship; like-mindedness.” I don’t need to be friends with my mechanic necessarily (although I was friends with one named Joel for a while before he moved on), but I need to be like-minded. I have to sense that we are on the same page — that he or she has my best interests at heart. I’m an honest guy who wants the same respect I give.
My life is full of good relationships. I have unbelievable friends who will go the extra mile. I have a favorite coffee shop. I wouldn’t change anything about the place. I have a couple of go-to authors who never let me down. I have a go-to gas station where the card readers always work. I have a couple of favorite restaurants in which I know the servers by name and they do a fantastic job. I’m not dating around when it comes to these relationships. I’m settled in and quite content with them.
But coming to the realization that all of life is like dating wears me out. I just want to be compatible with everyone I encounter, no matter whether we’re talking about personal or business relationships. Of course, that’s not possible. As I think about it, that makes me grateful for the established relationships I already have in my life.
