A friend named Clarissa told me a story recently that you might want to hear.
She used to be a nurse in a men’s prison and encountered a teenage boy there one day who faced a life sentence.
“There he stood,” she said, “a skinny teenage boy wearing boxers, his arm oozing blood. He’d been stitched up, but he’d ripped them out. He’d been bandaged, but he’d pulled it off. The issue was not his arm, though. Hopelessness was the enemy, and a life sentence in prison the cause. What do you say to a kid whose life has just begun, but at the same time, it seems like it’s already over?”
She didn’t know the answer to that question, but she knew God did.
As the boy continued to refuse treatment and Clarissa waited for paperwork to be processed, she began to talk to him. She learned he had cut himself in an attempt to take his own life. He was certain he would go to heaven, saying it would be better to go to heaven than spend his life in jail.
She asked him why he thought he would go to heaven, and his answer surprised her. He said he had repented and believed in Jesus’ death as payment in full for his sins, so he knew God had forgiven him.
“Admittedly, I wasn't expecting him to say that,” Clarissa said. “He'd just given me ammo the size of a bazooka.”
“I told him about the medical porter where I work [currently] who got life as a ‘juvie’ (youth offender) and was currently living on an open yard, going to work, playing music in his spare time – guitar, drums, recording music – and out in the sunshine a lot. He earned it with good behavior.”
As she talked, the boy stopped pacing and started to listen.
“He's a soldier,” the boy said, realizing this man found something beyond himself to live for. “How old is he?”
“In his fifties.”
The boy nodded and explained he doesn't think the way this guy does.
“I'm sure when he was your age, he didn’t either. It takes time.”
Eventually, Clarissa asked him what God wants from his followers. “We discussed things like loving one another, being kind and evangelism.”
“You have the chance to tell other guys in here about Jesus,” she told him.
“I've tried that; it doesn't work.”
How quickly we humans lose patience for evangelism, she thought. Especially the young. Been there, done that.
She advocated for the surrendered life.
“You’re within these four walls, and there’s so much you can’t see,” she reminded him, referring to the spiritual battle the boy was facing.
In essence, she told him he had his eyes on the wrong kingdom. As a believer, his focus should be on the heavenly kingdom, not the earthly one he found himself trapped in. Clarissa wanted him to know he had the opportunity to be a constant reminder to his fellow inmates that they, too, could switch kingdoms. They might not want to listen to him right now, but maybe one day they would.
“I don't know how that young man is doing now, but I wish him well,” Clarissa said. “He has a hard road ahead.” But thankfully, the boy did decide not to give up hope. “He was willing to stay, to fight, maybe even to win. With God on his side, anything was possible.”
The story isn’t finished there, though.
“I almost didn’t go to work that day,” Clarissa said. She battles with various debilitating chronic health issues. “I was so empty, so burnt-out, so exhausted and low on sleep. Then God reminded me of a wonderful creation called licorice root, and that tea perked me up enough that I could go. But I had nothing whatsoever to offer anyone.”
But God did.
“It is in those times – those exact times – that I find He uses me the most.”
I have no idea what you are facing today, but I know it’s probably something, maybe even something big. Don’t give up. God wants to use you right where you are, even, and especially when you feel like you don’t have anything left to give.
