Fun as a Catalyst

Fun can be a catalyst for connecting with people in deep ways. It gives us an in.

Photo by Jani Kaasinen on Unsplash

I borrowed Annie F. Downs’ book That Sounds Fun from the library, and it’s so good. It’s a challenge to anybody who thinks fun is a waste of time.

She writes a lot about hobbies, and her thoughts are so insightful.

“Playing chess makes space for connection and time,” she wrote. “Fun often breeds that. There’s something specifically good and maybe holy about the slowness of this particular game with the way it stretches time. Slow hobbies are good hobbies.”

She tells a story about a friend who has ALS. I think his name is Tim. They used to meet in coffee shops, but now he finds travel difficult. He’s in a wheelchair and can’t speak much anymore, so he uses a computer that follows his eyes as he looks at individual letters to form words. His computer then speaks what he’s thinking. 

Years ago, Tim taught Annie how to play chess, and the game still brings them together. They play in his home now, and the pace is much slower. She moves the pieces for him as his computer voice dictates. He teases her when he wins by wiggling his eyebrows, and their friendship continues to deepen. 

Elsewhere in the book, she made this observation. 

“I sat with a friend a few days ago, and she said, ‘You show what matters most by what you say yes and no to – by who gets your time and your money.’ It really made me think – about hobbies, about friendships, and about the speed at which I’m living my life.”

Fun helps us to slow down and live deeper. Or it should.

This may surprise some of you, but I’m a metalhead from the 1980s. And yes, I had a quasi-mullet. But no, it wasn’t a full mullet, and I’ll fight you if you say otherwise. 

All kidding aside, I still like to go to metal concerts. Specifically, I like to attend glam metal concerts. If you aren’t familiar with the genre, think Poison, Bon Jovi, Ratt or Dokken. 

The lyrics to many of the songs in this genre aren’t the most wholesome. But I enjoy the music and attend these shows for the connection, much like Annie mentions.

I went to a concert by myself a couple of months ago and ended up standing next to a guy who is in a local band. We chatted beforehand and went deep as we talked about the various bands we enjoy. 

“W.A.S.P. is coming to town,” he said. 

This was my opening. I was never a W.A.S.P. fan, but I know a little about them. “I hadn’t heard that. I know that Blackie [Lawless, the band’s singer] has become a Christian and won’t play some of their old material.”

Band Guy was aware of this and mentioned one of the songs they won’t play anymore. 

“But if that’s what his fans want, then he should play it,” he said.

“Well, he has different priorities now.” I explained that I, too, am a Christian, so I understood where Blackie was coming from. 

I don’t think Band Guy was buying it, but it was my one shot to try to explain that Blackie had switched kingdoms. Even if that didn’t mean anything to Band Guy, I wanted him to know that there are Christians “in the scene” – and that our allegiances are different now. More importantly, I hope I made him think about his own allegiances.

The thing about fun, especially as a Christian, is that it can be a catalyst for connecting with people in deep ways. It gives us an in. But I don’t mean that in the sense that people are projects. I simply mean it can give us a true sense of connection that wouldn’t happen otherwise. And that connection leads to conversations that matter.