For those who find themselves in a season of waiting, I don’t have a formula or timeline to offer you. But I do know this: God doesn’t withhold his love from you.
On Valentine’s Day, I got down on one knee (wondering if I’d ever be able to get up) in a wet parking lot (don’t worry, I had a towel) and proposed to my girlfriend, Clarissa. And … she said yes! Then she offered me her hands to help pull me up so I could slip the ring on her finger. And my heart nearly exploded with joy.
As a 58-year-old perpetually single person, I wondered if such a day would ever happen. Doubt certainly crept in during various stages of my life. And I began to prepare for what felt like the inevitability of facing my senior years alone.
But I should back up a little.
I thought I would marry my high school sweetheart after we graduated. When that didn’t happen, I believed I’d find someone in college and get married. When that didn’t happen, well, doubt set in.
In my mid-twenties, I became a Christian, and it changed the way I viewed life, including my singleness. It didn’t stop me from wanting to get married but it did give me a perspective I had never considered. I didn’t need to wait for my life to begin.
The Bible provided me with plenty of examples of singles who made a difference: Paul, John the Baptist, Jeremiah, Daniel, Mary of Bethany, Martha of Bethany and, of course, Jesus, just to name a few.
During my twenties and thirties, I attended singles retreats, taught Sunday school, got involved with men’s groups, served wherever I could and I have been a caregiver multiple times. I also began writing an online singles column for Christianity Today. That eventually led to my first book: Single Servings: 90 Devotions to Feed Your Soul. And I served in my church on the singles committee.
My next twenty years felt like someone hit the fast forward button. I lost my dad. All my grandparents are gone now. I changed jobs, and then eventually, jumped into a career in publishing. I experienced chronic health issues. And then my friends started to die – close friends – so I can certainly say I’ve known grief.
But I’ve known joy too. Not just in Clarissa’s acceptance of my marriage proposal, but even more importantly, in who I am in Christ. God loves me, no matter my successes or failures. He has given me purpose beyond my circumstances. When I was lonely, his presence was a constant companion. And I possess the hope of eternity.
For those who find themselves in a season of waiting, I don’t have a formula or timeline to offer you. But I do know this: God doesn’t withhold his love from you.
